[ sounds very familiar. back when jack had some illusion of a choice in the matter, he should have run. taken joseph and disappeared in austeria. silas had plenty of ways to replace him, he wouldn't chase for long. it would have been cowardly and it would have stuck in jack and nagged at him, but he'd have been free, and joseph would have been alive.
at home, he doesn't have that option anymore. he doesn't have anything left, not even a plead for execution. the cdc was his only out. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org You can't live two lives. Do yourself a favor and stick with the one you won't be miserable in, and then get as far away from your father as possible.
[It's good advice. And Simon really did think he could weigh and delay and keep quiet, and have his own life with Yuki as well as placating his father long enough that there wouldn't be trouble. The stakes had just been so much lower for him.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org Way ahead of you. I'm as far from him as I could possibly be.
The answer to your other question is simply that my recruiter was quite charming. And, I think, quite annoyed. [And he keeps thinking, and thinking, and ... it doesn't mean anything, does it? The contents of his file are common knowledge, to anyone who cares enough to look.]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org Then why are you still cowering?
[ not owning up to what you are, he means. jack hasn't exactly been flaunting it, and he might have pistol whipped someone the other day for making a gay joke near him, but it's been out there.
the second answer pulls an amused snort from jack as he reads the text ]
So you're here because you were effectively wooed. Your file wasn't kidding.
[It really does rankle, that line about "a kind word and a pretty face", because it goes to the heart of Simon's guilt about ever being recruited. It's why he resisted answering for so long.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org I'm here because I was stupid. And because I can't be trusted. And because I made a promise and then broke it at every opportunity. That is why I'm here. [This might not be consistent with observed reality. Or it might be far too so.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org You, though. You were one of those people with nothing to lose. You knew what you were getting into. [Let's not talk about what he did and didn't promise Yuki, since he's already walking that line.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org Morality is a side-issue, a distraction. It can't be part of what we do here. All of us had something we were escaping, it wasn't just you.
[Worms, twisting in the network. Hopefully Ghost's not reading this.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org And I can't be responsible for what does and doesn't make sense in your head. Pay more attention.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org Then why do you care how little I had to lose?
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org If you want to have a conversation, Simon, the general idea is to be comprehensible during. Would you like to tell me about your broken promise, or is it just there for the sake of being tantalizing?
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org Simon, if you don't have the balls to implicitly say what you mean, then don't bother talking.
[ sry man, he hasn't had the best of days and he's a bit on edge ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org Did you promise someone not to tell that you kiss boys and then break it every time you saw a pretty face? Is that what I'm supposed to be getting out of your hint dropping, because you aren't brave enough to just say it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Alright. Tell me about the 'old ruling class'.
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FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
My father wants me to get married. Sound familiar?
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at home, he doesn't have that option anymore. he doesn't have anything left, not even a plead for execution. the cdc was his only out. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
You can't live two lives. Do yourself a favor and stick with the one you won't be miserable in, and then get as far away from your father as possible.
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FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
Way ahead of you. I'm as far from him as I could possibly be.
The answer to your other question is simply that my recruiter was quite charming. And, I think, quite annoyed. [And he keeps thinking, and thinking, and ... it doesn't mean anything, does it? The contents of his file are common knowledge, to anyone who cares enough to look.]
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Then why are you still cowering?
[ not owning up to what you are, he means. jack hasn't exactly been flaunting it, and he might have pistol whipped someone the other day for making a gay joke near him, but it's been out there.
the second answer pulls an amused snort from jack as he reads the text ]
So you're here because you were effectively wooed. Your file wasn't kidding.
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FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
I'm here because I was stupid. And because I can't be trusted. And because I made a promise and then broke it at every opportunity. That is why I'm here. [This might not be consistent with observed reality. Or it might be far too so.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
You, though. You were one of those people with nothing to lose. You knew what you were getting into. [Let's not talk about what he did and didn't promise Yuki, since he's already walking that line.]
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FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
You realize only about half of that makes any sense to me, right?
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Aw, Simon, are you trying to make me feel immoral? Will that make you feel better about ending up here just the same?
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Morality is a side-issue, a distraction. It can't be part of what we do here. All of us had something we were escaping, it wasn't just you.
[Worms, twisting in the network. Hopefully Ghost's not reading this.]
FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
And I can't be responsible for what does and doesn't make sense in your head. Pay more attention.
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Then why do you care how little I had to lose?
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
If you want to have a conversation, Simon, the general idea is to be comprehensible during. Would you like to tell me about your broken promise, or is it just there for the sake of being tantalizing?
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What is it, you don't get it? Can't you keep up?
[It's Yuki, of course—and not even a promise broken, except in retrospect. I will not talk to anyone he wouldn't approve of.]
It was a waste of my time checking on you. Those bird things would have nibbled and spat you back out. [Insults. Yep.]
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With things you haven't mentioned prior and refuse to explain now? No, I'm not actually psychic.
[ s n o r t, simon pls. ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Aw, even after my little sob story? Here I thought we were bonding.
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I'm not asking you to be psychic. I'm asking you to read. A bit over your head, I'm sure.
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Simon, if you don't have the balls to implicitly say what you mean, then don't bother talking.
[ sry man, he hasn't had the best of days and he's a bit on edge ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Did you promise someone not to tell that you kiss boys and then break it every time you saw a pretty face? Is that what I'm supposed to be getting out of your hint dropping, because you aren't brave enough to just say it?
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He might have told at the start of the conversation, but he won't now. It's no great loss.]