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i will put things here that need new places because fuck captcha
[ Truth be told, Jack hasn't been able to speak openly about it at all, ever, until he arrived on Neheda and no one cared. He still doesn't, most of the time, but the conversation... lent to it. And of the people here, d'Artagnan is one he respects more than others. Read: at all.
Still, Jack's tensing regardless, a reaction from something like a decade worth of hearing things and getting looks that make him want to choke on his own self-loathing, while simultaneously choking the ones giving him said looks. It's knee jerk, and his hands are tightening a little on the steering wheel as he's driving them back towards base camp. ]
Rebellious? [ A snort. ] If that's what you want to call it.
[ And that word alone has his shoulders tensing, spine straightening, waiting for the point that d'Artagnan decides this quest to get to know his Biblical hero isn't what he thought it was. With the path ahead of him as flat snow and nothing more, he turns his head to look directly at the other, speaking flatly if not a little aggressively. ] I prefer to sleep exclusively with men. If that changes something for you, you're welcome to walk back.
Still, Jack's tensing regardless, a reaction from something like a decade worth of hearing things and getting looks that make him want to choke on his own self-loathing, while simultaneously choking the ones giving him said looks. It's knee jerk, and his hands are tightening a little on the steering wheel as he's driving them back towards base camp. ]
Rebellious? [ A snort. ] If that's what you want to call it.
[ And that word alone has his shoulders tensing, spine straightening, waiting for the point that d'Artagnan decides this quest to get to know his Biblical hero isn't what he thought it was. With the path ahead of him as flat snow and nothing more, he turns his head to look directly at the other, speaking flatly if not a little aggressively. ] I prefer to sleep exclusively with men. If that changes something for you, you're welcome to walk back.
[ He reads Jack's body language more than anything else. The tension in his shoulders, the way he sits up, like he's ready to defend himself.
It would be illegal, where d'Artagnan's from. But that doesn't mean men don't sleep with men. Of course they do; they're just quiet about it. They don't announce it, and if it's spoken of at all, it's a delicate subject. It's not one that anyone is raised to be comfortable with.
But that doesn't matter. Jack matters. D'Artagnan wouldn't throw him out just for wanting someone who wasn't a woman. He'd like to think he wouldn't treat anyone poorly for that. His own shoulders relax, and he leans his head back against the seat. ]
Why would it? You're my friend, I don't care who you prefer to have in your bed. Unless it's someone who hurts you, or wrongs you.
[ He pauses, before glancing at him again. ]
It's just that I've seen you with women. Hanna, especially. I thought there was something there. Obviously not.
It would be illegal, where d'Artagnan's from. But that doesn't mean men don't sleep with men. Of course they do; they're just quiet about it. They don't announce it, and if it's spoken of at all, it's a delicate subject. It's not one that anyone is raised to be comfortable with.
But that doesn't matter. Jack matters. D'Artagnan wouldn't throw him out just for wanting someone who wasn't a woman. He'd like to think he wouldn't treat anyone poorly for that. His own shoulders relax, and he leans his head back against the seat. ]
Why would it? You're my friend, I don't care who you prefer to have in your bed. Unless it's someone who hurts you, or wrongs you.
[ He pauses, before glancing at him again. ]
It's just that I've seen you with women. Hanna, especially. I thought there was something there. Obviously not.
[ the first thing that comes to mind is suspicious - it always is. and for jack watches him, sidelong, as if assessing. inspecting. looking for telltale signs of lies or pandering. conflict avoidance, maybe. he did essentially tell him he'd kick him out of the jeep if he had a problem with it. and it's a long walk back to the camp.
but d'artagnan is honest. has been with him in every conversation, even the ones that were particularly unpleasant. where jack was something wounded and lashing out at someone undeserving. and he's still sitting in the front seat of the jeep with him.
fine. he'll take it. and it's a little precious that d'artagnan would be worried about jack being involved with someone hurting or wronging him. usually, it's the other way around. ]
No one hurting or wronging me will make it into my bed. Don't worry. [ he won't add on the 'i'll probably ruin their life first' comment. and ah, right, hanna. a short chuckle rolls from him, jack watching the lack-of-road out in front of the car. ]
Hanna... force of habit. [ There's a bit of meaning in that he doesn't want to announce - that was his life. Romancing who he should be interested in, not who he was. Charming smiles and adoring touches that aren't connected to his heart. An act he'd gotten very, very good at. ] Hanna's a friend. Like a sister. She knows about it.
[ a shrug. ] We're just close.
but d'artagnan is honest. has been with him in every conversation, even the ones that were particularly unpleasant. where jack was something wounded and lashing out at someone undeserving. and he's still sitting in the front seat of the jeep with him.
fine. he'll take it. and it's a little precious that d'artagnan would be worried about jack being involved with someone hurting or wronging him. usually, it's the other way around. ]
No one hurting or wronging me will make it into my bed. Don't worry. [ he won't add on the 'i'll probably ruin their life first' comment. and ah, right, hanna. a short chuckle rolls from him, jack watching the lack-of-road out in front of the car. ]
Hanna... force of habit. [ There's a bit of meaning in that he doesn't want to announce - that was his life. Romancing who he should be interested in, not who he was. Charming smiles and adoring touches that aren't connected to his heart. An act he'd gotten very, very good at. ] Hanna's a friend. Like a sister. She knows about it.
[ a shrug. ] We're just close.
[ So Hanna's not with Jack. Which means she's single, maybe. Which d'Artagnan will note, and then surprise himself for noting.
He nods. ]
I'm sorry I assumed.
[ He falls quiet for a moment, wondering how welcome a topic this is. Is it all right to ask questions? He hadn't been the one to bring it up, after all. Maybe it's fine. But Jack had gotten so tense. D'Artagnan isn't sure what's the right thing to do, and in the end curiosity just wins out. ]
Are you open about it? I mean you must be, if you were talking about it to Martin, but then you looked awkward when I asked.
He nods. ]
I'm sorry I assumed.
[ He falls quiet for a moment, wondering how welcome a topic this is. Is it all right to ask questions? He hadn't been the one to bring it up, after all. Maybe it's fine. But Jack had gotten so tense. D'Artagnan isn't sure what's the right thing to do, and in the end curiosity just wins out. ]
Are you open about it? I mean you must be, if you were talking about it to Martin, but then you looked awkward when I asked.
[ Jack shrug, lips lifting in the middle in a welp sort of expression. ] Don't worry about it. Happens.
[ Really, it does. Usually on purpose, given how many years Jack's been using that as a cover. The latter question is, well, a difficult one. One Jack's not really certain of, and made a point to not think on too much. He should be open about it here - it doesn't matter. And after all, what did hiding it before every get him besides misery?
So what's stopping him now? Why does he still brace, still argue with himself about routing the conversation, still automatically summons up several different excuses?
He knows why, he just doesn't want to admit to it. Not to himself, not to anyone else. ]
Here, I am. Where I came from, no. It wasn't something you admit to. [ 'It', because he's hardly ever given a name to his sexuality, despite knowing several perfectly apt ones. 'Gay' he's said all of about twice in the months he's been on Ajna, and one instance was in a seethe. He swallows dryly, watching the road. ] Force of habit.
[ Like acting like a massive flirt with Hanna. The act's become more familiar, more comfortable, than the reality. ]
[ Really, it does. Usually on purpose, given how many years Jack's been using that as a cover. The latter question is, well, a difficult one. One Jack's not really certain of, and made a point to not think on too much. He should be open about it here - it doesn't matter. And after all, what did hiding it before every get him besides misery?
So what's stopping him now? Why does he still brace, still argue with himself about routing the conversation, still automatically summons up several different excuses?
He knows why, he just doesn't want to admit to it. Not to himself, not to anyone else. ]
Here, I am. Where I came from, no. It wasn't something you admit to. [ 'It', because he's hardly ever given a name to his sexuality, despite knowing several perfectly apt ones. 'Gay' he's said all of about twice in the months he's been on Ajna, and one instance was in a seethe. He swallows dryly, watching the road. ] Force of habit.
[ Like acting like a massive flirt with Hanna. The act's become more familiar, more comfortable, than the reality. ]
[ Hiding it makes plenty of sense to d’Artagnan. What that tells him is that Jack’s society wouldn’t welcome it any more than his own. Even if it were tolerated, it would be tolerated only in private, something about which people should be discrete.
But Jack’s not just an ordinary person. He’s not even an ordinary noble, he’s royalty. And d’Artagnan is familiar enough with royalty to see a problem here, a big problem. He knows the Bible story, obviously – he knows that the King is David and not Jonathan. But that’s not how Jack’s been raised. That’s not what his country would expect. ]
What will you do?
[ He asks now, more quietly. ]
You must have thought you’d get married, have an heir.
[ The latter of which could not be done with another man in the bed, regardless of anyone’s preference. ]
Your father – did he know?
But Jack’s not just an ordinary person. He’s not even an ordinary noble, he’s royalty. And d’Artagnan is familiar enough with royalty to see a problem here, a big problem. He knows the Bible story, obviously – he knows that the King is David and not Jonathan. But that’s not how Jack’s been raised. That’s not what his country would expect. ]
What will you do?
[ He asks now, more quietly. ]
You must have thought you’d get married, have an heir.
[ The latter of which could not be done with another man in the bed, regardless of anyone’s preference. ]
Your father – did he know?
[ 'What will you do'? Well, that's fairly easy. ]
I'm going to drive us back to camp.
[ Which is to say, he's not going to do anything. He's not going back. They'd have to drag him. 'Have an heir' stabs at something in him, though, and for a brief moment, Jack's eyes have gone wider. Not quite fear, but something close to it. ]
I knew I would. [ He says blankly, like distracted by something still.
Did his father know? Of course. For how long Jack can't say, likely a long time before the subject was brought up. There's another twist in his stomach, thinking of all the times his father must of watched him, seen pictures, videos, heard reports and felt disgusted with him. And Jack, completely oblivious to it, thinking of the man who'd taught him out to fish and ride a bike. ]
Yes. For years, maybe.
I'm going to drive us back to camp.
[ Which is to say, he's not going to do anything. He's not going back. They'd have to drag him. 'Have an heir' stabs at something in him, though, and for a brief moment, Jack's eyes have gone wider. Not quite fear, but something close to it. ]
I knew I would. [ He says blankly, like distracted by something still.
Did his father know? Of course. For how long Jack can't say, likely a long time before the subject was brought up. There's another twist in his stomach, thinking of all the times his father must of watched him, seen pictures, videos, heard reports and felt disgusted with him. And Jack, completely oblivious to it, thinking of the man who'd taught him out to fish and ride a bike. ]
Yes. For years, maybe.
[ D'Artagnan watches him for a moment. His expression is restrained, but concerned. It's obvious Jack doesn't love the idea of making an heir. Of being with a woman.
Astonishing, how easily d'Artagnan had bought into that lie before he'd had the falseness of it laid out.
He leans back, wetting his lips and thinking. ]
It wouldn't be so different, really. Lots of Kings have mistresses. They don't always marry for love, you wouldn't have to either.
You could do what's needed and still have what you want. You know that.
Astonishing, how easily d'Artagnan had bought into that lie before he'd had the falseness of it laid out.
He leans back, wetting his lips and thinking. ]
It wouldn't be so different, really. Lots of Kings have mistresses. They don't always marry for love, you wouldn't have to either.
You could do what's needed and still have what you want. You know that.
Have you ever lived a lie, d'Artagnan?
[ it's asked oddly conversationally. everyone lies. everyone hides things. no one completely sees a person, as much as they'd like to be seen for who and what they are and still loved for it. but everything that jack is is manufactured and honed for a purpose, beyond just the topic at hand. ]
Has anyone told you that you could not be what God made you, and so you have to change it, if you want those claiming to love you unconditionally to be able to accept you?
[ It was more than just his sexuality. It was his being. It was turning his mind into a machine and his words into knives and battlements. Looking at people as tools and calculating worth on leverage and political value. The teeth for flesh. Not something that Jack was born with. Something he learned. ]
Is it better to be known as yourself but die disgraced, or live at high value but unknown, behind a mask? Looking out on a crowd and knowing they'd drag your name through the streets if they knew what you really were? [ for most, it's not that large of an issue. for an heir to the throne, who's private life is his public life regardless of what he wants, it is exactly that. ]
Which would be more honorable, d'Artagnan?
[ it's asked oddly conversationally. everyone lies. everyone hides things. no one completely sees a person, as much as they'd like to be seen for who and what they are and still loved for it. but everything that jack is is manufactured and honed for a purpose, beyond just the topic at hand. ]
Has anyone told you that you could not be what God made you, and so you have to change it, if you want those claiming to love you unconditionally to be able to accept you?
[ It was more than just his sexuality. It was his being. It was turning his mind into a machine and his words into knives and battlements. Looking at people as tools and calculating worth on leverage and political value. The teeth for flesh. Not something that Jack was born with. Something he learned. ]
Is it better to be known as yourself but die disgraced, or live at high value but unknown, behind a mask? Looking out on a crowd and knowing they'd drag your name through the streets if they knew what you really were? [ for most, it's not that large of an issue. for an heir to the throne, who's private life is his public life regardless of what he wants, it is exactly that. ]
Which would be more honorable, d'Artagnan?
[ D'Artagnan looks away.
Have you ever lived a lie? After a fashion, maybe. He'd had a relationship that no one could know about, at least, and that's what Jack's talking about. D'Artagnan hadn't done all that well with it. The secrecy hadn't come naturally to him. He hadn't cared who saw him, hadn't minded. Why should he? He'd been in love, why couldn't he shout that out to everyone around? That's what he'd wanted.
It hadn't worked out. If it had, how long would he have been able to keep doing it? How long until he broke, until he wanted it to be more than an affair? Could he have been with someone else, married someone else, while still loving Constance?
He hadn't even been able to pretend at lust, with Milady. D'Artagnan knows the answer. And how can he tell Jack to do something that he could never do himself? ]
You should be yourself, and love who you want to love. Whether it's a woman or a man. You should not have to hide.
No, you shouldn't marry a woman. You should follow your heart, even if it leads to places that people don't like. That is what's honourable. You know it is.
Have you ever lived a lie? After a fashion, maybe. He'd had a relationship that no one could know about, at least, and that's what Jack's talking about. D'Artagnan hadn't done all that well with it. The secrecy hadn't come naturally to him. He hadn't cared who saw him, hadn't minded. Why should he? He'd been in love, why couldn't he shout that out to everyone around? That's what he'd wanted.
It hadn't worked out. If it had, how long would he have been able to keep doing it? How long until he broke, until he wanted it to be more than an affair? Could he have been with someone else, married someone else, while still loving Constance?
He hadn't even been able to pretend at lust, with Milady. D'Artagnan knows the answer. And how can he tell Jack to do something that he could never do himself? ]
You should be yourself, and love who you want to love. Whether it's a woman or a man. You should not have to hide.
No, you shouldn't marry a woman. You should follow your heart, even if it leads to places that people don't like. That is what's honourable. You know it is.
It's not about love, d'Artagnan. Just existence.
[ His own right to exist within himself. Jack attempted love once, and he knows better now. He doubts there's much left of his soul untainted enough to be capable of something like love. If he even understands it right in the first place. He'd seen other, seen David and Michelle, seen what it's supposed to look like and knew it wasn't something he'd be able to achieve. Not wholly. ]
Anyone within royalty fits themselves into a box, shaped like a coffin, because you're born for a nation, not for yourself. What you are is forfeit to what you have to be.
[ True about so many more things than just who Jack puts his dick in. He gives a shrug, glancing from the terrain over to d'Artagnan. ]
Luckily, I don't have anything I have to be anymore, here or elsewhere.
[ What's the worst Silas will do to him back home if he doesn't co-operate? Kill him? But no, he's certain Silas could find another means of torture. It's a talent of his, cruelty. One he taught Jack well. He knows better than anyone what Silas Benjamin is capable of.
He may not be who he'd like to be here, but at least he's not being something he's not. Not that coffin he built for himself and laid in willingly. ]
[ His own right to exist within himself. Jack attempted love once, and he knows better now. He doubts there's much left of his soul untainted enough to be capable of something like love. If he even understands it right in the first place. He'd seen other, seen David and Michelle, seen what it's supposed to look like and knew it wasn't something he'd be able to achieve. Not wholly. ]
Anyone within royalty fits themselves into a box, shaped like a coffin, because you're born for a nation, not for yourself. What you are is forfeit to what you have to be.
[ True about so many more things than just who Jack puts his dick in. He gives a shrug, glancing from the terrain over to d'Artagnan. ]
Luckily, I don't have anything I have to be anymore, here or elsewhere.
[ What's the worst Silas will do to him back home if he doesn't co-operate? Kill him? But no, he's certain Silas could find another means of torture. It's a talent of his, cruelty. One he taught Jack well. He knows better than anyone what Silas Benjamin is capable of.
He may not be who he'd like to be here, but at least he's not being something he's not. Not that coffin he built for himself and laid in willingly. ]
[ He doesn't argue with that assessment, knowing that it's entirely true.
Jack is like no royalty that d'Artagnan has known, in truth. He's raw in a way that they're not. The King and Queen he knows are far more cosseted, though not foolish. They know where they stand in the grand scheme of everything.
Jack seems, on the whole, far less content with that. ]
If you can, you should do what makes you happy. I hope you can, here.
Whether you're open about that or not, it's up to you. I'll keep any secret you ask of me, Jack. But for what it's worth, I'd rather see you as you really are than living any kind of lie.
Jack is like no royalty that d'Artagnan has known, in truth. He's raw in a way that they're not. The King and Queen he knows are far more cosseted, though not foolish. They know where they stand in the grand scheme of everything.
Jack seems, on the whole, far less content with that. ]
If you can, you should do what makes you happy. I hope you can, here.
Whether you're open about that or not, it's up to you. I'll keep any secret you ask of me, Jack. But for what it's worth, I'd rather see you as you really are than living any kind of lie.
[ He shrugs, taking a turn to go around drop point C rather than through. ]
Here, I can. I can't say how happy I can be about destroying planets and killing on command, but it's less a stress than it was.
[ Of course, he hasn't yet had That Chat with Dagger at the point of this thread, and hasn't realized how much Conceal Don't Feel is going to become a theme again, but for the moment, it's easier. ]
It's not a secret here. Not that I'm running around with it printed in neon on a banner, but I won't hide it. [ weeeeell, until michelle and david show up, at least. ]
Here, I can. I can't say how happy I can be about destroying planets and killing on command, but it's less a stress than it was.
[ Of course, he hasn't yet had That Chat with Dagger at the point of this thread, and hasn't realized how much Conceal Don't Feel is going to become a theme again, but for the moment, it's easier. ]
It's not a secret here. Not that I'm running around with it printed in neon on a banner, but I won't hide it. [ weeeeell, until michelle and david show up, at least. ]
You don’t want to do it?
[ D’Artagnan looks up at Jack. They’ve never actually talked about that, but he’d had the impression Jack was good at following his orders. He’d been quick to help out in medical, and he’d seemed so carefully controlled. D’Artagnan hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it, but now that he is, he realises he hadn’t thought Jack would be a dissenter. ]
Destroy this place, I mean. I didn’t realise you were opposed.
[ As for the part about his sexuality not being secret, d’Artagnan will just nod at that. He’ll remember. It’s not the kind of thing he would ever really announce, anyway, but this means he’ll not see the need to cover it up. ]
[ D’Artagnan looks up at Jack. They’ve never actually talked about that, but he’d had the impression Jack was good at following his orders. He’d been quick to help out in medical, and he’d seemed so carefully controlled. D’Artagnan hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it, but now that he is, he realises he hadn’t thought Jack would be a dissenter. ]
Destroy this place, I mean. I didn’t realise you were opposed.
[ As for the part about his sexuality not being secret, d’Artagnan will just nod at that. He’ll remember. It’s not the kind of thing he would ever really announce, anyway, but this means he’ll not see the need to cover it up. ]
[ There's a slow turn of his head to peer at d'Artagnan, and a rapid couple of blinks. Did you seriously think that he was gung ho with the 'murder everyone' plan? ]
I think if I was excited for genocide, you'd have much larger concerns than just whether or not I'd like to discuss my preference for dicks, d'Artagnan.
[ Also, sry to ur virgin ears, you know his secret now, enjoy his potty mouth about it. ]
I follow orders because it's for the benefit of all of us here. It's not a cause, it's just a job. [ Perhaps the CDC may not have his loyalty, but Gliese and Neheda do. To some extent, Dagger, but like hell he'll be telling him that. ]
I think if I was excited for genocide, you'd have much larger concerns than just whether or not I'd like to discuss my preference for dicks, d'Artagnan.
[ Also, sry to ur virgin ears, you know his secret now, enjoy his potty mouth about it. ]
I follow orders because it's for the benefit of all of us here. It's not a cause, it's just a job. [ Perhaps the CDC may not have his loyalty, but Gliese and Neheda do. To some extent, Dagger, but like hell he'll be telling him that. ]
I have large concerns about almost everyone here. I don't ultimately care who anyone takes to their bed, that's their own concern, but I care what side they're on here.
[ It's difficult, making camp with and fighting alongside people when he's never sure if they're here by choice or not. But he can't hate them, and he doesn't want to see them hurt. He tries not to judge, because what good would it do? And because talking openly about whether they're loyal or not tends to be trouble. ]
It is a cause. It's their cause, and we're all helping it. It's never just a job when lives are at stake, Jack.
[ It's difficult, making camp with and fighting alongside people when he's never sure if they're here by choice or not. But he can't hate them, and he doesn't want to see them hurt. He tries not to judge, because what good would it do? And because talking openly about whether they're loyal or not tends to be trouble. ]
It is a cause. It's their cause, and we're all helping it. It's never just a job when lives are at stake, Jack.
What side is it you want me to be on?
[ He knows which he is and he knows it's not changing, but he's curious. He imagines d'Artagnan's one of those that wants to be a freedom fighter, and letting him know that Jack's loyalty is to this crew's instructors and captain likely will turn into a lot of moral scolding. So we'll redirect here.
Truth is, he came here by choice. He wanted to, and he doesn't regret it. He's not headed home - the Neheda is home now. ]
It's a business. And for a lot of people, it's a rescue. [ People like Dagger or Gliese, who had their races saved. Or, what was left of them. ]
[ He knows which he is and he knows it's not changing, but he's curious. He imagines d'Artagnan's one of those that wants to be a freedom fighter, and letting him know that Jack's loyalty is to this crew's instructors and captain likely will turn into a lot of moral scolding. So we'll redirect here.
Truth is, he came here by choice. He wanted to, and he doesn't regret it. He's not headed home - the Neheda is home now. ]
It's a business. And for a lot of people, it's a rescue. [ People like Dagger or Gliese, who had their races saved. Or, what was left of them. ]
Or no offers at all. Not everyone gets their contract with full disclosure.
[ Several here, the more morally righteous, were brought in under the 'just get a yes out of them' method. Doesn't matter what it's in response to. Those are the ones, Jack has noticed, that cause more issue for the crew than any others. Too busy complaining about the ethics of it to just deal with the reality of the situation and make themselves useful. Dead weight.
As much as he'd been appalled by Dagger's kill list before, Jack's really starting to see the value of the philosophy. Those that weigh them down endanger the crew, and the crew does not need them.
Erik, it seems, is aware enough of the deal offered, so hopefully he chose to be here himself. ]
What'd they promise you? [ personal, yes, but Jack's not really one for small talk. ]
[ Several here, the more morally righteous, were brought in under the 'just get a yes out of them' method. Doesn't matter what it's in response to. Those are the ones, Jack has noticed, that cause more issue for the crew than any others. Too busy complaining about the ethics of it to just deal with the reality of the situation and make themselves useful. Dead weight.
As much as he'd been appalled by Dagger's kill list before, Jack's really starting to see the value of the philosophy. Those that weigh them down endanger the crew, and the crew does not need them.
Erik, it seems, is aware enough of the deal offered, so hopefully he chose to be here himself. ]
What'd they promise you? [ personal, yes, but Jack's not really one for small talk. ]
For a lot of people, it's a prison.
[ He raises his eyebrows. He well understands that there are people who want to be here, who had chosen to be here.
He's not one of them, and he knows many in the same category. ]
They're not here because they need to be or because they chose to be, they're here because they were tricked. That's not business, Jack. Or if it is, it's not the kind of business I want to be part of. Do you?
[ He raises his eyebrows. He well understands that there are people who want to be here, who had chosen to be here.
He's not one of them, and he knows many in the same category. ]
They're not here because they need to be or because they chose to be, they're here because they were tricked. That's not business, Jack. Or if it is, it's not the kind of business I want to be part of. Do you?
[ I'm actually not sure if there can be a renewed contract with a second item after the first item is fulfilled, which is the assumption I'm operating under, but if not I'm recanting this tag-- ]
--It's not your business, but my mother.
I caused her death, so I want her back.
[ And because he feels like he just stuck a knife in his heart, he feels compelled to ask the same. ]
What about you?
[ He is flattered, at least, to be considered difficult enough to have to bribe into service instead of accepting it. He wonders if his price is paid for on the backs of the others who have asked for naught.
Every minute he wonders if this is a mistake, but then he remembers what they promised. ]
--It's not your business, but my mother.
I caused her death, so I want her back.
[ And because he feels like he just stuck a knife in his heart, he feels compelled to ask the same. ]
What about you?
[ He is flattered, at least, to be considered difficult enough to have to bribe into service instead of accepting it. He wonders if his price is paid for on the backs of the others who have asked for naught.
Every minute he wonders if this is a mistake, but then he remembers what they promised. ]
You never know. [ He shrugs, watching her take a sip and chuckling a little when it's obviously not her cup of tea. ] You might get drunk enough to think it did.
[ He's reaching forward, though, moving to snag the glass from her. ] Let me fix it. [ gurl you need to learn how to mix drinks if you're going to be a wuss about it. ]
[ He's reaching forward, though, moving to snag the glass from her. ] Let me fix it. [ gurl you need to learn how to mix drinks if you're going to be a wuss about it. ]
[ He makes a contemplating face for a moment, studying the ceiling above him. ]
I'd imagine it'd work a lot worse here than it does on others' homeworlds.
[ considering Dagger's not about to go around collecting votes on what the next red mission should be, or if he should even be in charge. ]
Ah. Right. I think they're convinced they're doing something noble, rationalizing away the fact that they're hurting this crew more than helping it. [ That's really the thing that bother him the most. As much as Jack was a prince, he didn't feel really comfortable until he was out of the palace and in the military. In a platoon or a squad or a team, you support each other, cover weaknesses. If one fucks up, that weakens the whole. It rises a condescending kind of disgust in him when he sees the others here forcing the rest to lag. ] With any luck, they'll piss off Dagger or Gliese enough that we won't have to deal with them anymore.
I'd imagine it'd work a lot worse here than it does on others' homeworlds.
[ considering Dagger's not about to go around collecting votes on what the next red mission should be, or if he should even be in charge. ]
Ah. Right. I think they're convinced they're doing something noble, rationalizing away the fact that they're hurting this crew more than helping it. [ That's really the thing that bother him the most. As much as Jack was a prince, he didn't feel really comfortable until he was out of the palace and in the military. In a platoon or a squad or a team, you support each other, cover weaknesses. If one fucks up, that weakens the whole. It rises a condescending kind of disgust in him when he sees the others here forcing the rest to lag. ] With any luck, they'll piss off Dagger or Gliese enough that we won't have to deal with them anymore.
[ A snort, but he's still working away. ]
Killing is at least easier, typically.
[ Not that he's a big fan of it. He'd personally rather steal, but he's not about to talk about it. The carving eventually comes free, and Jack's pushing the crashtec unit to stand again, carving carefully in had. ]
We've got one. Moving on.
Killing is at least easier, typically.
[ Not that he's a big fan of it. He'd personally rather steal, but he's not about to talk about it. The carving eventually comes free, and Jack's pushing the crashtec unit to stand again, carving carefully in had. ]
We've got one. Moving on.
Then those people can find their way out.
[ He couldn't care less. In all honestly, he'd prefer it. He doesn't want to be fighting next to someone with questionable loyalty. A platoon is only as good as it's weakest link, and it operates as a unified force - same mission, same drive. Jack doesn't want to have to worry that he may have to make up the slack from another one of them unwilling to do their part.
But that's so long as only they leave. If anyone works towards sending the crew as a whole back to their homes, Jack will consider that them signing his death warrent (rather, living death) as much as his father had.
He's quiet for a moment, watching the road ahead of him, before he speaks soberly. ]
Nothing comes without sacrifice, d'Artagnan. Without a cost. Not basic rights, not freedom, not life. [ Perhaps he'll learn that one day. ] It should, but it doesn't. People should be kind, money should be divided out evenly, poverty shouldn't plague the world. But it does.
[ He couldn't care less. In all honestly, he'd prefer it. He doesn't want to be fighting next to someone with questionable loyalty. A platoon is only as good as it's weakest link, and it operates as a unified force - same mission, same drive. Jack doesn't want to have to worry that he may have to make up the slack from another one of them unwilling to do their part.
But that's so long as only they leave. If anyone works towards sending the crew as a whole back to their homes, Jack will consider that them signing his death warrent (rather, living death) as much as his father had.
He's quiet for a moment, watching the road ahead of him, before he speaks soberly. ]
Nothing comes without sacrifice, d'Artagnan. Without a cost. Not basic rights, not freedom, not life. [ Perhaps he'll learn that one day. ] It should, but it doesn't. People should be kind, money should be divided out evenly, poverty shouldn't plague the world. But it does.
It'd depend where you came from, I guess. In the line of career I was in, democracy wasn't really a big thing there either. If you had enough money or power, you could do pretty much anything. [The people with the money was those who could even hire assassins for side jobs in the first place; the people with power were the ones who could somehow run associations of assassins and not get killed right away.]
Yeah, it really gives the rest of us a bad name. If even just a couple of people fuck up, it could cause a lot more trouble for the rest of us. [She wasn't here for any noble cause -- unless you could consider vengeance for your father honorable enough -- but even she saw fallacies in how some of the people conducted themselves around here. In the end, they were only trying to sate their own uncultured mindset. Even as a lone wolf type, the ignorance irritated the shit out of Shinobu.
She mildly smiles as Jack's suggestion -- contrary to her love for violence, she'd rather see people succeed, but some people just never learned.]
Well, they already threw someone into a mountain and cut off a bunch of people's living systems. Pretty sure the next person who pisses either of them off is gonna be even more sorry than the previous troublemakers.
Yeah, it really gives the rest of us a bad name. If even just a couple of people fuck up, it could cause a lot more trouble for the rest of us. [She wasn't here for any noble cause -- unless you could consider vengeance for your father honorable enough -- but even she saw fallacies in how some of the people conducted themselves around here. In the end, they were only trying to sate their own uncultured mindset. Even as a lone wolf type, the ignorance irritated the shit out of Shinobu.
She mildly smiles as Jack's suggestion -- contrary to her love for violence, she'd rather see people succeed, but some people just never learned.]
Well, they already threw someone into a mountain and cut off a bunch of people's living systems. Pretty sure the next person who pisses either of them off is gonna be even more sorry than the previous troublemakers.
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