Duplicity IC Inbox [ un: jbenjamin ]

[cicatrize]

you've reached jack benjamin. clearly, I have better things to do.

audio ○ text ○ video ○ spam etc

Comments

[freightcars]

I do.
You ever met any other Buckys? It's trademarked.

[cicatrize]

Not meeting any other Buckys doesn't make it trademarked. Where's your notarized paperwork, sir?

[freightcars]

The patent office.

[cicatrize]

In Duplicity?

[freightcars]

Sure, as far as you know.

[cicatrize]

You can't really bring a proper suit against the manufacturer or justify destruction of personal property without it.

[freightcars]

Damn, you're right
I've been foiled by the confines of the law
What a damn shame
Guess I definitely won't be breaking into your apartment and burning it now
So don't worry about it

[cicatrize]

Cool. I'm putting up sentry turrets.

[freightcars]

Cute.
If you wanted broken sentry turrets you could've just asked.

[cicatrize]

This is harassment, Buchanan.

[freightcars]

Love you too, sweetheart.

[cicatrize]

Clearly not enough.

[freightcars]

I'll replace your bear with something that isn't stupid and pointless.
You got strong opinions on shields?

[cicatrize]

Not a big fan. Even the decapitating ones seem too gimmicky. Plus, not cuddly like a bear is.

[freightcars]

So now all of a sudden cuddliness is the goal here?
You've already got a TJ

[cicatrize]

TJ is much less portable. And maintaining free will. I can't drag him to and fro at any point a cuddle may be necessary.

[freightcars]

I'm pretty sure you can, and I think he'd be pretty on board with it, too.

Maybe like a cat?

[cicatrize]

Possibly. No on the cat.

I don't like anything I have to pay attention to to keep alive.

[freightcars]

How often are we talking about cuddling here anyway? What are your cuddle needs? Ballpark me a per-week average.

[cicatrize]

Oh, I don't know. Depends on how many bad dreams and scary movies happen. Somewhere between 3 and 20?

[freightcars]

And why is it the god damn bear gets dibs over the real thing, Benjamin?

[cicatrize]

Because the real thing keeps threatening to burn my shit. It's rude.

Do you need a cuddle, Buchanan?

[freightcars]

Just one particular piece of your shit.

And I'm replacing it with the original model
You're welcome.

[cicatrize]

Still my shit.

I'm going to need to see this cuddle contract done in writing, sir. I don't make a habit of putting blind trust in arsonists.

[freightcars]

Don't worry, I'm more of a murderer than an arsonist, so you can trust me.