captcha overflow;

[cicatrize]

i will put things here that need new places because fuck captcha

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[hallways]

[ it's hard enough to wrap her head around the idea that they're supposed to be destroying things -- michelle's not quite sure on the what, cosmic could mean anything, but there is no room to misinterpret demolition -- but the fact that jack wants her to handle a gun? michelle stares dumbly at it, barely taking in what her brother is saying. he expects her to - to shoot something? how could he even ask her to, she's not built like him, she could never --

but this isn't home. she's been dropped into some kind of war zone, and there are things around that would kill her if given the chance. jack can't watch her all the time, she has to be able to defend herself. slowly, she reaches for the gun, taking it from jack with a hand that she refuses to allow to tremble. it's heavy, heavier than she would have thought a gun would be, and she flips off the safety like jack showed her, pointing the barrel toward the ground. she remembers seeing people holding guns in shows and movies -- her index finger rests along the line of the gun, rather than on the trigger, so she doesn't accidentally fire if she's simply startled or she stumbles.

when she looks back up at jack, her expression is torn somewhere between terrified and determined. ]

I don't know if I can shoot anything, but... I'll try.

[cicatrize]

[ He can see the determination in her eyes, and that's encouraging, in the least. She's good with placing her index finger along the side, not on the trigger. She's together enough to remember that from all the guards she's seen around them before. Good. Michelle may not be any kind of cut out for the CDC, but she knows how to keep her head straight. How to swallow down what's eating at her. It's a Benjamin family quality. Even if she's not nearly as good at it as the rest of them are. ]

You don't have a choice. [ It'll be a her or them situation, if it comes up. ] If it's close enough, just shut your eyes and keep pulling the trigger until you hear something drop.

[ If it gets to the point that Michelle has to use the gun, chance are it'll be close range. If Jack can't get to it first. He doesn't want to risk telling her he'll handle all of it here, though. Not with the all out warzone they're in. In the mean time, Jack's double checking his own pistol, and situating it in his hands, taking a second to check the map on his cuff, before figuring which direction ought to have the port back up to the Neheda. That's the direction they'll be going in. ]

[hallways]

[ michelle stares at the gun in her hand, the warring determination and terror ringing in her head. if she'd been asked before, she would have said that there was no way she could ever even hold a gun, much less actually fire one. now jack expects her to kill things, and it hardly even matters that it's to protect herself -- she's had other people there to protect her her whole life, she's never had to deal with something like this before. it's never something she's had to prepare for or even think about.

that, of course, is where the determination comes in -- she's useless here, and she knows it, and she wants to not be useless. it's very important to her, in fact, that she doesn't slow jack down, or get in his way more than she will just by being so inept at... everything. she's been protected and sheltered her whole life, and it's made her soft. jack hasn't had that luxury, and all of a sudden what she's taken for granted this whole time seems unfair. she can't be taken care of forever.

it's with this thought that she tightens her grip on the gun, taking a deep breath and pushing aside the terror. she's still afraid and is going to be until they get out of here, and she's going to talk to someone in charge as soon as they're safe, but that all has to wait. right now she has to focus on not getting killed. when she speaks, it's more to herself than jack, since he's absorbed in looking at his cuff. ]

I can do this. I can do this.

[ fake it til you make it, as the saying goes. ]